I Messages / Talk it Out

It is always a good idea to let a friend know with words when you are angry or upset about a problem you are having. If it's a small problem, you should try two of Kelso's Choices before telling an adult. Very often, when you tell your friend how you feel about something and how it can be made better, the problem can be quickly solved!

Guidelines

• Treat each other with respect.
• Listen without interrupting.
• Work to solve the problem.

Procedures

• Stop. Cool Off.
• One person talk and the other listen. Take turns.
• Think of ways to solve the problem.
• Choose the idea you both like.

(The “I” message is to be used in Step 2 of "Procedures- “Talk and Listen”)

(name) _______, I ____________________ (feeling)

when you _____________ (specific behavior)

I want you to _______. (desired result)

Example 1

Toby, I feel unhappy

when you call me names.

I want you to stop.

Example 2

Salina, I feel angry

when you won't let me play on the swings.

I want you to take turns.